Your questions answered, Inside Track, February 2010
I've been given some feedback from colleagues that they don't feel I listen to them. I'm keen to develop my listening skills but don't know where to start. Can you help?
Listening can be hard to do and even harder to do well. A lot of us are not good listeners, even those who may think they are. Humans have an innate desire to be understood and so it’s important to get this skill right (and great that you are prepared to work at it). By practising listening and by becoming aware of the different types of listening, you can work to become a better and more effective listener.
We all reach different forms and levels of listening, but many of us never achieve true empathic listening, a term used by Steven Covey to refer to listening where you really seek to understand emotionally as well as intellectually.
Follow the steps below and you should be well on your way to becoming a more effective and empathic listener:
- write down some examples of good and bad listening, reflect on when you do these things
- note your barriers to listening: what prevents you from being a good listener?
- practice listening with friends and colleagues or engage in role play:
- take a few minutes to prepare mentally for the conversation, ensure your own thoughts, worries and concerns are put to one side
- pay attention from the start, concentrate with your eyes and your ears and be aware of your body language
- listen to the themes emerging from the conversation, mimic and rephrase the content to show that you are listening and demonstrate that you understand how they are feeling.
Have a pressing issue? Get free expert advice from the Stanton Marris team.
