Your questions answered, Inside Track, May 2011

This article is filed under: executive coaching, leadership

I’m a leader who has recently become a mentor to three ‘high potentials’- what are the do’s and don’ts?

With mentoring, as with leadership generally, it is the small behavioural things that make the difference. All too often, the impression you give may not be the one you intend; instead of encouraging your ‘mentees’, you may dampen their enthusiasm, or even ‘suck the life out of them’ – more like Azkabanian ‘de-mentors’!

Don’t be a ‘de-mentor’:

• Show you value them: “You’re important – but not as much as this email, phone call or repeated rescheduling of our meetings”, doesn’t cut it
• Don’t overdo it: Too frequent messages of: “How are you getting on? How can I help?” could be translated as “I don’t trust you – you can’t do it on your own”
• Avoid saying ‘should’: Aside from asserting your opinion, (“You really should X, Y, Z…”) it may be one that doesn’t match your mentees. This simple word turns whatever follows into a chore, rather than an appealing idea. Language matters – try asking a question instead.
• Do what you say: Any advice becomes meaningless if your mentees can see you don’t follow it yourself. Share your own goals, enthusiasm and vulnerabilities.

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